Today, I had my organic chemistry exam at 8:00 AM. And guess what time I was able to drift off to sleep? 4:00 AM-ish. I couldn’t sleep because I screwed my internal clock by doing what I enjoy best: reading, watching movies, eating, laying around daydreaming—doing all of these between midnight and dawn, which arrives at 5:00 AM-ish. Which means I end up sleeping until 2:00 PM, which means the whole vicious cycle continues into the next night, which makes me feel like a failure.
After three hours of fitful sleep, I wake up so groggy that I am almost weepy. I was also panicky—the “I wish I had one more day to stuff my head with chemical reactions that don’t make sense anyway” panicky.
I go in, sit down, and I don’t remember much of what I studied. And there’s 14 pages to the exam. Good news, though. While I was studying late into the night, I was listening to Lady GaGa’s PokerFace over and over again. I listened to acoustics, instrumental, vocal, and radio versions. I can listen to Pokerface for two hours at a time. So for the two hours of the exam, my analytical skills were reduced to: Hmm, which sugar-sugar linkage is 1, 2 Beta? Let’s see, glucose P-p-p-pokerface, P-p-p-pokerface Okay, okay, the linkage is obviously horizontal, so is it option A or maybe [Clenching my teeth] Can’t read my Can’t read my No he can’t read my pokerface. Ah! No, the oxygen bond is over here! Is that even glucose? Maybe it’s fructose?? P-p-p-pokerface, P-p-p-pokerface! Gosh darn frickin’ chem! la-la-la Russian roulette is not fun without a gun. With my muffin! With my muffin! Gosh, how does it go? Okay, what about option five? Let’s see Mum mum mum mah Mum mum mum mah. ARGH!! The linkage looks okay. It’s Beta and there’s the two connection. Looks stupid, but the stupid one is always the answer. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh [Deep breath] The answer is option five! She's got to love nobody She's got to love nobody . . . Gosh darn it, it better be five.
All this to say, I got a good enough grade on the chem final that I’ll pass with a C and won’t be kicked out of college! All thanks to Lady GaGa for keeping me company during the final.